Mistakes

In my eighteen years, I've made mistakes...of course. Everyone has. But I'm learning new things about mistakes and how they affect me. I'm learning to take something from them and apply it to my life now. I'm learning to apologize and be a better person. I'm learning to be me.

My mistakes have taught me more than my triumphs have taught me. I'm not saying that I'm glad I've made mistakes. I don't think I'll ever be glad that I've made mistakes. That's not something to be happy about or proud of. Still, they're part of my knowledge and learning.

Explaining how important my mistakes are to me seems strange, but it really is important. It's also a lot harder than I had imagined. Without them, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. I wouldn't comprehend a lot of things in life. Know that being able to understand some things in life isn't necessarily a good thing.

I've taught myself more than anyone else has because I've made so many mistakes. I've forced myself to "learn the hard way" too many times. Yet, sometimes, that's the only way that the stubborn learn. Trust me. It sticks when you learn a lesson the hard way.

So, what do I regret most? Hurting people. There are so many people that I need to apologize to. I have gotten the courage to apologize to some of them, and I've been proud of myself. I've swallowed some pride, and I've done what needed to be done. Still, some I haven't said anything to because I never really gave them a chance in the first place. I could blame that on many things, but in the end it all comes down to it being my fault.

I've been an idiot, but I'm not sure that I'd trade my mistakes for the correct choices. For one, I wouldn't be the same person, and for two, I needed to learn a lot of these things to knock myself down a couple of notches. I needed some humility or rather a lot.

Whether this went anywhere or not really isn't the point. The point is I'm far form perfect, I've made way too many mistakes in this life, but at the same time I needed them to teach me to be me. Thanks mistakes for giving me lessons even if it was a little hard sometimes.