Thirty Day Blog Challenge: Day 1

1. Your middle name and how you feel about it.

Kathleen. That's my middle name. When I was younger, I used to think it was a beautiful name, and I couldn't understand how people hated their middle names. I loved my mine. Well, as I grew older, I grew to dislike it and the flow it gave to my name. Oh, it flows well with the rest of my name. It just makes me sound like I'm from the 1920s, which gives even more validity to the thought that I was born in the wrong time. Though I may say I'm not a huge fan of my middle name, and though I may try to hide it (even though it's clearly on my facebook for all to see), I kind of like it. It's kind of cool to have a name that can be thought of as a throwback to the 1920s. Of course, it's only cool for so long, but it's still cool for some time.

While, my middle name may make feel more like I was born in the wrong time, I'm glad I wasn't. The fact that my name sounds old gives me more understanding that there is indeed a true reason I was born in this time, for this time. Though you may help to make me feel almost a century misplaced, middle name, I wouldn't have any other middle name. It goes well with the rest of my name, and I still actually think it's kind of pretty despite the fact it kind of sounds like a grandma's name.

Genesis

So, in doing this look through my Bible thing, I'm seeing there are places where I've spent a lot of time thinking and writing, and there are other places that are as bare as a creek bed after a ten year drought. Sorry for that wonderful phrase, but it's true.

I've looked all through Genesis, and really didn't find anything that I had marked up much so I started in the beginning. I think this was a good idea in some ways, but I think it's actually accomplished its purpose already: I need to study a lot of the Bible a lot more than I have...

Even though I've decided to stop blogging about this, I've gained a lot from the one blog I did. So here's to a beginning in a better study of the Bible, a genesis, if you will.

My Bible Day 1

For any of you that have ever seen me open my Bible, especially to certain chapters or pages, you'll notice that I've marked and highlighted and written notes all over the pages. Some people may find me absolutely strange for that or a bit obsessive. Some people may just believe that's not what you should do with your Bible. And that's all fine and dandy. People are entitled to their own opinions. For me, writing in my Bible, marking it, highlighting it, etc., is just a way to make it more personal, more mine. It's my Bible and no one elses'. One passage may speak volumes more to me than someone else. Or something may speak volumes to someone else, and I just don't get it. Don't worry. I'm not going all Thomas Jefferson with my Bible. I keep all of it, not just the parts I like. And I don't add or take away.

So I've decided to start going through my Bible and writing down the notes I've put down. I'm hoping to blog about it every day that I can. This is more for me than anyone else, but, if you enjoy it, awesome.

Today, I'm starting with the things I've written in my Bible before it actually starts. I'm writing down the things I've put on the cover page basically. Here we go:

-Hate is easy. Love takes courage.
-Proverbs 14:10 - "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one can share in its joy."
-Formula for prayer:
1) big-ups to God
2) heart-felt thanks for the blessings you've been given
3) laying down burdens for others and their needs
4) getting to your own stuff
God isn't a "thanks for the favor" friend.
-revolve devos
-How He loves us all
-NO FEAR
-NO RETREATS
-NO RESERVES
-NO REGRETS
-I can't do this alone. Jesus is right by my side.
-I don't have to do this alone. Jesus is right by my side.
-It is well. Through the storm I am held.
-Actions speak louder than words. If actions don't speak, words are useless. They mean nothing.
-He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane. I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy. All of sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me.
-See
-Do
-Hear
-Say
-Go
-Savior, He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save.
-No guilt in life. No fear in death. This is the power of Christ in me. From life's first cry to final breath, Jesus commands my destiny. No power of hell, no scheme of man can ever pluck me from His hand. Til He returns or calls me home, here in the power of Christ I'll stand.
-Live knowing that God is loving enough to listen to you and big enough to care for you in your pain.
-Let nothing stand in the way of you and God's will for your life.
-Sometimes pain and suffering are the central emotions of our hearts. We can't avoid pain and suffering, but we can control how we respond to them.
-God is love.
-Someday, someday, someday, someday... Peace and joy and happiness, no more sorrow, someday...
-"I love you. I love you with a deep, passionate, alluring love. My love for you isn't based on what you've done, but what I've done for you." -what Jesus would say to me according to David Platt
-Clothed in rainbows of living color, flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder: Jesus, Your name is power, breath, and living water, such a marvelous mystery.
-"The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Psalm 118:6
-Love is not against the law.
-Jesus, hurry...
-Hate is easy. Love takes courage. (again; apparently I needed another reminder)

And that's all there is, as of now, before I actually get into the actual Word of God.
I think this is going to be really cool for me, just to go through my Bible and see what I wrote and try to remember why and what I was feeling. I've looked at a few of these passages I've really marked up over and over; but some I haven't looked at in a while. This is good.

Summer

Thinking of summer my brain must have recalled
The chirping of crickets whether they be happy or appalled.

They sung a nice tune inside my head,
But quickly, it seems, they ran to bed
For their chirping stopped
And my dream bubble popped.

And I would dream of summer no more
Until its glistening dew drops again would linger at my door.

December 30, 2010

This is actually a journal entry from December 30, 2010.

Today, I dream of summer. Today, I also dream of heaven, of no more pain, of no more mistakes, of no more sorrow or tears, of no more brokenness. Today, I dream. Today, I hear things with my ears and see things with my eyes that others may not hear or see. I hear a sweet song sung by crickets and frogs, and I even feel the warm, humid air of summer. I feel its kiss on my skin, almost like a promise of something wonderful. I feel absolute joy as I leave this life and enter into the next, in my dream anyway. I feel absolute peace as every meaningless thing is laid down never to be picked back up. Today, I fee that heaven is like summer's perfect weather when the sun's warmth seems to kiss my skin, but instead of the sun it's the Creator of the Universe. And the weather isn't the only thing that's perfect. Everything is perfect. My friends and loved ones are perfect. Everything around me is absolutely perfect. Even I am one hundred percent perfect. There are no worries. There is no fear. It feels like that first jump or dive into a pool or lake when summer begins, but it's so much more. It's absolutely indescribable. All I can do is fall to my face, my face not my knees, and cry out to the God who cared when I didn't, who loved when I couldn't, who saw when I was blind, who believed when I wouldn't, and all I can do is pour out my praises to Him in unintelligible sobs. And what's even better than anything else I've mentioned is how He wipes every tear away like the sun wipes away the drops of water on my body from swimming in a pool. Only this is more immediate. This is more loving and warm. This is heaven, my absolute perfect day forever. It's every day of summer magnified to ultimate perfection and peace. It's the end of all pain, the beginning of perfect life eternal. It's God smiling down on me and saying, "Well done, My good and faithful servant," and it feeling more lovely and warm than any sun ray I could ever imagine.

Though I realize there may be much to do before I truly see this day and live it, I can still dream; and, whenever I do dream, my lips will slowly and carefully say, "Jesus, hurry..."

Looking to the Future, Forgetting the Present

Too often I find myself thinking too much about what will happen after I accomplish this or what will happen after this event occurs. Too often I find myself thinking all about things that will or may happen in the future and forget to live in the here and now. I forget to appreciate everything I have. I worry too much about things that I may not have in the future. I worry way too much about my future.

I was thinking about how I focus too much on the future today, and, suddenly, it hit me. If I'm focusing all my thoughts, time, and focus on the future, what am I doing in the present? And doesn't what I do or don't do in the present affect my future anyway? I realized that if I focus too much on whatever may or may not be my future I'm going to lose a lot here in the present that could have been in my future.

Instead of focusing on everything that could happen and will eventually happen, I think I really need to do more of seeing the present for what it is, seeing life for what's happening now. The present is my life now. The past affects what I do and who I am now, and the future is affected by what I do now, but either way I'm here in the now, not in the past or future. I can only live this present time of my life at this present time of my life. There are memories to be made and happiness to be found, and the last thing I need to focus all my attention on is worrying about what may or may not happen in the future.

Do I even think the future should be thought about here in the present? Of course! One still has to prepare himself or herself for the life ahead of them, but one cannot live in the future only prepare for it. I shouldn't live for tomorrow but for today. I can prepare for tomorrow today, but I'm still living today. Today, right now, that's where it's at.

Bethlehem

Bethlemen. The tiny town of the Bible. Bethlehem. Small and insignificant. Barely a blip on the radar screen. Bethelehem was just a small city. It wasn't important; yet God chose to use it. He chose a king from that small city. He promised that Bethlehem would not be forgotten. About a thousand year later, Joseph and his wife to be, Mary, make their way to Bethlehem, which by this time is known as the city of David. Soon it is to be known by yet another name. As Mary and Joseph make their way through this small city, which is probably crawling with people because of the census, they finally make to probably the only inn in the entire town only to discover that there is no room. But I'm sure that in seeing Mary's extremely pregnant belly the innkeeper did the best he could for the couple and made them as comfortable as possible in his stable. Though I know God's timing is best, you would think that Jesus could have picked a much better time to enter the world; but He chose that night in that stable in Bethlehem. For a small, insignificant town, Bethlehem surely does have a lot going on inside it's gates.

"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be a ruler over Israel, whose origins are from old, from ancient times." Micah 5:2